Losing a spouse is often considered the single most stressful life event. Widow Kathleen Rehl found that she was in a better position than most to grapple with such questions.What often compounds that stress, however, are the many financial questions facing the surviving spouse: How will they support themselves and what benefits should they claim? Though she was devastated by her husband’s death some ten years ago, Rehl’s career as a financial planner meant she was still well prepared to manage her finances on her own.The spouse helps with decisions about the kids; attends their sporting events, theater performances, and weddings.Widows don’t have co-parents to rely on, but also don’t have listen to their opinions on child rearing.He’s a recent widower (wife died of cancer in June 2010.) We started dating just after Labor Day. We live about an hour and 1/2 apart and he has a very high level job and a big house to take care of (and a dog.) There has been no sex yet but lots of “foreplay.” He says he always waits to have sex until he’s more sure of the woman.
“Our brains function differently when we’re facing big-time stress like losing a spouse,” said Rehl, the author of the book “If a widow or widower makes big irrevocable decisions during that stressful time, they could make the wrong decision because they don’t understand what they’re doing.” A research study led by Rehl and published in the Journal of Financial Service Professionals found that women, in particular, see their confidence in their finances decline after losing a spouse.
I replied, “I didn’t get divorced.”He said, “Well where’s your husband? The next question was a shocker, “Do you mind if I ask you how long has it been since you’ve had sex?
”Never one to pass up a good line, I said, “Six feet under.” That resulted in a jaw dropping, confused, uncomfortable, pitiful facial expression, as he stammered, “I’m so sorry.” I blurted out, “But I didn’t kill him! ” My response without missing a beat, “Twenty-four hours.” That interchange was my initiation into the “Planet Single Bar Hopping Phase.” I later entered the “Planet Single Dating Phase.” Here are 10 tips to understanding the differences in dating widows vs divorcees:1) Divorcees didn’t have a happy marriage otherwise they’d still be married.
She left me perched on a bar stool to go to the restroom.
I stared at the glassware on the shelves behind the bar and a guy suddenly appeared, “So when did you get divorced?